Noob Mercs (Player corporation)

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Revision as of 16:36, 25 September 2013 by DJ FunkyBacon (Talk) (Old Recruitment Policies)

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All this data is potentially out of date, and should be taken with a truckload of salt

Assaultpod.JPG
Name Noob Mercs
Ticker [PHAIL]

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In March 2008 The Noob Mercs (PHAIL) corporation was founded by the Nubbin King, an alt of DJ FunkyBacon of Eve Radio. Having hosted a series of suicide fleet ops with live narration on his radio show the idea was tried and tested and very popular with his audience. Listeners were thrilled at listening to crazed newbs in frigates throwing themselves at bigger targets.

FunkyBacon turned the event into a full fledged mercenary corp based on cheap and wreckless ships to wear down heavier ships or die for the fun of it. People that had never fought in Eve before were introduced to a world they had only heard about, without any of the commitments or political attachments of more serious establishments. Template:Hint

History[edit]

The early days[edit]

In its founding week the corp's member count exploded and it quickly measured in the hundreds, exceeding prior expectations. The mission statement was simple, but important: Take a newb and desensitize him to PvP and ship loss.

The first contract would also come to be the most memorable one. During the show The Fallout Project (HALO) chose to meet PHAIL's T1 frig blob with a frig blob of their own. The result was a climatic lagfest favouring the Noobs who outnumbered their brave opponents. The video of that engagement can be found here. The war itself ended with PHAIL killing 145 of HALO, while suffering a staggering 673 losses themselves. Due to the vast difference in weapons of war though, the total loss for PHAIL was 2billion ISK while HALO suffered 2.5billion.

While the active member base outside of Thursdays was low, the entertainment value of the live ops was quality comedy, involving strung out FC's cat-herding the zerg through perils such as disco battleships and Concord intrusions, all the while trying to lose as few members as possible to distractions such as NPC pirates and Veldspar astroids.

Faction Wars[edit]

With the coming of FW, the Noobs who'd like to try the new content founded two new sister corporations. These were aptly named Federal Noob Mercs and Imperial Noob Mercs. The divide caused the original corp a significant member loss as it splintered. While the activity with all three corps dropped as the novelty of FW wore off, long time member Texass97 kept the original Noob Mercs going through the ravaging effect of the expansion. Both the Imperial and Federal branch corps fell dormant in the coming years, though the original corporation was re-activated in 2012.

After Eve Radio[edit]

After the corp split so that members could partake in FW, veterans of the Noob Mercs still kept the corp alive for several years, though it was not featured on Eve Radio any longer, and no longer accepted public contracts. As they grew in skill, several members began flying larger ships, and most eventually found homes in more active corporations and alliances throughout New Eden. The corporation went fully dormant sometime in 2011, but was revived again in 2012.

Recruitment[edit]

PHAIL based itself on a revolving door policy and not taking part of any politics. Anyone could come and go as they please, even if only to partake in the Thursday Live Ops. Jokingly it was often assumed that spys where everywhere, but there couldn't possible be any intell to pick up on. This was particularly true as the only voice comms used by the corp where the orders relayed on Eve Radio, which anyone could listen to.

Founding announcement[edit]

Excerpt from thread by DJ FunkyBacon:

Template:Quote

Old Recruitment Policies[edit]

PHAIL recruitment circa 2008 used to happen primarily during Eve Radio broadcasts, but newbies, carebears and everyone else interested were still encouraged to take contact for the sake of a joining a carefree PvP enviroment. Along with an introduction to fleet combat recruits would also have seasoned PvPers at their disposal for help and advice. Members were encouraged to fly cheap and replaceable, but there was a program in place to make sure everyone had something to fly.

Offices[edit]

The corp is based out of the Amarr system using the Emperor Family station as the base of operations.

There are Noob Mercs offices at

  • (HQ) Couster II - Moon 1 - Federal Navy Academy School
  • Amarr VIII (Oris) - Moon 4 - Expert Distribution Retail Center
  • Deepari II - Imperial Academy School
  • Villore VII - Moon 6 - Senate Bureau

Rules[edit]

  1. If you accept a 1v1 duel, you honour it.
  2. Don't pirate.
  3. Don't scam.

Prominent players[edit]

Texass97

For who without, PHAIL would not be the WIN it is today. He kept the corp alive through its toughest time, when Faction Wars split its members.

Nubbin King aka DJ FunkyBacon

For his vision and godlike gift of humour. We owe him hours upon hours of actionfilled entertainment. Without him there would be no Noob Mercs.

Minerdave

For his outstanding outside support with free ships and mods to keep the wheels turning when the Noob Mercs were at their highest rate of consumption.

Trivia[edit]

Titan encounters[edit]

The Noob Mercs have been killed by the Doomsday Device of a Titan twice.

File:Von zarovick titan.jpg The first incident was at U-QVWD by the hands of Von Zarovick of the alliance Against ALL Authorities on the 8th of May 2008. It was a Thursday Op live on air, and PHAIL were passing through AAA's space when their frigatte blob came across a single AAA member. As expected total chaos ensues as some Noobs blissfully unaware align to the next gate, others start jetisoning cans with comedy names, some are fallen behind at the previous gate and others gun for AAA's bait. A few seconds later an Avatar enters the system to the collective gasp of the Noobs. At the end of the day 93 PHAIL ships and pods were destroyed for a total of 519m ISK. Reference

The second time was also live on the show, only two weeks later, at the 22nd of May 2008 at the hands of the Goonswarm alliance. PHAIL had been hired on behalf of the Eve Community to hit the Goons, and promptly flew to one of their systems where the locals were informed that the system was now confiscated by the Nubbin King. The Goons, mildly amused, responded by deploying an Erebus piloted by Omega. Even after the assault though, some Noobs still remained to launch Ibis raids from the nearby station. When the dust settled 137 ship and pods were lost by PHAIL at a cost of 538mill ISK. Reference

Lemming madness[edit]

A couple members of the Noob Mercs crashed a Eve Radio Lemming Leap event by waiting in cruisers at one of their destination systems. Expecting jokes and laughs as Lemmings died to Noobs, they found that the DJs leading the rookie ship fleet were not amused. Significant free industrial support was lost that day, but in turn it contributed to the rise of much needed guidelines to keep the ever growing swarm of Noobs under control.

The butcher's bill[edit]

Between March 1st 2008 to Octobor 10th 2008 the Noob Mercs scored 2098 kills and 5989 losses. 321 (5%) of those losses were by the member Jonyis II making him the most accident-prone Noob by a huge margin. The total damage done to the Eve community were 95billion ISK, while PHAILs loss were half of that, at 44billion ISK. Reference

External links[edit]